


Rejecting Fate

by Trexi



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apologies, Canon Era, Gen, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 22:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15422631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trexi/pseuds/Trexi
Summary: Merlin apologises to Mordred for believing in destiny more than reality (set in Destiny is Optional AU but can be read independently).





	Rejecting Fate

I raise my hand to knock for the tenth time. It won’t be that hard. I just have to knock. Then I have to explain to Mordred the real reason I’ve been so cold towards him. And hope he doesn’t lash out with his magic or end up turning against Arthur. It’s simple, really. It all starts with the knock.

_“Emrys, why have you been outside my chambers for the past hour?”_

I don’t jump back in surprise because I’m well used to mind speech by now. That loud sound was me knocking. Nobody can prove otherwise.

_“I wanted to speak to you about something important.”_

The door opens. “Come in then.”

I walk in and immediately do a sweep for pointy or especially heavy objects. Mordred’s sword rests on his table. Right, the whole knight thing.

“Do you like it?” I ask. “Being here in Camelot, being a knight?”

“I only wished we could use our magic openly too.”

“Well, that won’t be a problem much longer.”

Mordred shakes his head, sitting down. “As much as I admire your limitless hope for such a day, Emrys, surely even you can see that King Arthur … does not see magic in a positive light.”

Maybe this, this will stop him from hating Arthur.

I sit too. “Oh, I gave up all hope myself as well. The prat decided to take that as an opportunity to finally figure things out. Once I’m done here I’m going to go help him with changing the law.”

“He knows about your magic and accepts it?” Mordred’s face lights up with a wide grin that just makes me feel guiltier. “That’s wonderful! Why’d you wait outside my door so long to tell me? Surely there was no wrong way to deliver that news.”

“Because I’ve wronged you, Mordred. For years I’ve believed something about you that was untrue. It’s why I refused to accept your intentions as good in Ismere, or even after that. And I am sorry. More than anything, I am sorry. Arthur showed me the error of my ways. It was his faith in you that woke me up to what I was doing, what I’ve done.”

Mordred’s smile falters. “What are you talking about? I thought you were just blaming me for my previous closeness to Morgana.”

I reluctantly meet his eyes. “I was blaming you for being fated to kill Arthur.”

His expression becomes closed, his voice dangerously neutral. “And you told him this?”

“Yes. And Arthur told me that I shouldn’t have put my faith in the Great Dragon, Kilgharrah, who originally told me when you first came to Camelot.”

“That’s why you almost didn’t come save me. Why you almost let me die back then. Why you almost let me be caught by the knights. Why you refused to look me in the eye so many times. Why you didn’t just heal me after I saved Arthur’s life, injuring myself in the process. Why you sit there now, _Emrys_ , looking at me for the first time since we met with any sort of warmth. For Arthur, always for Arthur, not your destiny, not your freedom, not yourself, for him.”

I swallow heavily. “Yes.”

Mordred stands. He stares at me with such nothingness that I fear he’s simply feeling too much. Seconds pass, but they feel more like days. Then I hear it, in my head like always. _“I understand, Merlin. Just know, that for Arthur, I’d do the same. Fate has not been my friend. I will not show it the courtesy of following its path.”_ He smiles for a moment, then it’s gone, replaced by hurt, pain, betrayal. “Just don’t expect me to forgive you any time soon.”

“I don’t.”

He smiles again, then we’re talking about the upcoming law change like I hadn’t just broken his faith in me, in Emrys.

**Author's Note:**

> It's a bit short, but it didn't seem right for Mordred to throw one of his magical tantrums here.


End file.
